Adam vs. Katy: Cognitive Dissonance Over My Diet

I've always found it interesting that humans don't innately know what we're supposed to be eating. Other animals seem to know if they're predators or herbivores, they go out and find food that nourishes them. And unless we're the ones providing their food, animals don't tend to have weight problems and dietary diseases.

This concept struck me when I moved into my first apartment during my junior year of college. After two years of dorm food, I was excited to be cooking for myself, and wanted to eat more healthfully. As I set about making that first grocery list, I was suddenly bewildered. I realized that had no idea what I ought to be eating.

Ever since, I have gone through periods of dietary exploration. I tried being a vegetarian for 4 years, a "flexitarian" for two of those. I've gone through times of cutting out all dairy, then all soy. I've gone on oatmeal kicks and yogurt kicks, eating the same meal for breakfast every day for months. I ate only organic food for a few months, and to this day avoid partially-hydrogenated anything. I have not owned a microwave since college, because I've been told that it's bad for you.

I just want to know what to eat to be healthy. And as with many things, the more I learn, the more confusing it gets.

Since last summer, I've been on-and-off following the guidance of Dr. Katy Wallace, a naturopath who focuses on healing through food. She emphasizes proper food combining, cleansing, and eating a whole-food diet. As regular readers of this blog know, I did a six-week "Body Tune-Up" cleanse with her this winter.

It was an intense, but positive experience. By the end of the program I was feeling good, had pretty stabilized energy, and I had lost 10 pounds and cleared up some skin problems. But I did have some misgivings about maintaining the kind of diet Katy teaches. It's a good diet, but not the easiest for someone who likes to eat out and throw dinner parties and the like.

Katy recommends a low-caloric intake diet, consisting primarily of fruits and veggies. She says most Americans eat way too much protein, and that your daily protein intake only needs to be about 5-10% of your daily calories. So, when you're on a low calorie diet, you don't need to be eating a lot of meat. Beans and even the protein found in veggies and whole grains is usually enough. Which is fine. Except as I said, I like to eat out, and I do enjoy a few alcoholic beverages with some frequency. So the whole low-calorie diet thing goes out the window.

What I haven't told you since the end of the cleans is that when I went on vacation, it all went to hell. After 6 weeks of being so strict with myself, I ate whatever I wanted, as much as I wanted, the whole week. I completely binged. I had a lot of stomachaches and didn't feel so hot, but damn those cookies and pastas and drinks tasted good.

For the month since I got back, I've been at my pre-cleanse weight again and wallowing in self-disgust over it. After losing all that weight, being back at what used to be normal for me feels way worse. I've tried to get back to eating the way Katy would recommend, but I'll be good during the week and binge on the weekend. I've been working out more, but my body hasn't budged.

I put the new pants I bought during the cleanse away in a box on top of my closet. And then I and emailed Adam Gilbert of My Body Tutor. I need someone to help me stay on track, and that's what he does best.

I've talked with Adam twice, and started his program yesterday. I'm a little nervous though, because Adam's eating guidelines are sometimes in alignment with Katy's, and sometimes are very different.

They're similar in that they both encourage eating whole foods, avoiding refined carbs and sugar, and eating plenty of veggies. And they both teach their diets as lifestyle changes, rather than short-term weight loss programs. But as far as I can tell, that's where the similarities end.

Adam is big on protein. He wants me eating protein with every meal. His aim is to get my metabolism working so that it's constantly burning fat. That sounds pretty good to me.

However, I've been following and believing in the proper food combining that Katy preaches. The biggest part of this is not combining grains and protein at a meal. If I'm eating protein at every meal, that's going to be hard to avoid. (There are other food combining rules that will get broken by eating this way too, but that's the big one.)

Katy also encourages variety - not eating the same kind of grain or protein more than once every 5 days, so that your system can completely clear it out before it's introduced again. If I'm eating protein at every meal, that's a lot of different kinds of protein I need to keep on hand. This concern is exacerbated by the fact that Katy strongly recommends against tofu, (too processed,) tuna, (high mercury and they're being fished out of existence,) and the regular intake of dairy (congests the digestive system,) - all protein sources that Adam recommends.

So I'm disconcerted; I really don't know which is the better or healthier way to eat. They're different theories in their entirety.

The rationalization my brain has come up with is that maybe there's no one best way - you eat differently to achieve different goals. Katy's program is focused on cleansing and healing, while Adam's emphasizes upping the metabolism. Both say they can help with weight loss, but they come at it from different directions. I haven't been hungry much on Katy's plan, so maybe it's because the low-calorie, low-protein diet has slowed my metabolism way down. But maybe a slower metabolism is better in some ways, because then the body isn't working as hard just to absorb nutrients. Then again, maybe it is better for it to be faster and burn through more calories. I don't really know.

I'm not sure how to resolve this dissonance. How do you figure out what the best way to eat is? Is Western Medicine and science right? What about the science behind Naturopathy? Or is it just a matter of experimenting and seeing what works best for you?

For the time being, that's what I'm going to do. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

If Katy and/or Adam read this and care to comment, your feedback would be great!

Postponing the Pizza

I had really been looking forward to the end of the cleanse. Not that I wasn't reaping benefits from it - I've lost nearly 10 lbs, had more energy, and my skin looks better than it has in years - but I kept thinking about going out for drinks with friends, or finally eating at the restaurant I live above (one of my favorites) or baking cookies.

But even though it's over, it doesn't really have an end.

As with any good health or personal development program, the cleanse I just finished was actually the beginning of a new way of being. I'm never going to go back to the days of frivolous eating. A small part of me is disappointed about that.

Somehow it hadn't occurred to me that the whole experience would really change my perception and how I make choices about food. At least, not as dramatically as it has. This is a good change, and a healthy one. Obviously I'm still going to have times I don't eat as healthfully, and other times where I'm really good about my diet. But I don't think I'll ever look at food the same way.

I often think of a pendulum swinging back and forth - it swings really far one way, and then really far the other, and goes back and forth until it eventually settles in the middle. I'm in that settling period right now.

The final consultation with Dr.Katy yesterday showed that I've made some progress, but there are several things I can and want to keep working on. None of them are major health problems - some I wouldn't even be aware of if not for the tests she does. But I'm glad I know about them, and know how to work on them. I can't tell you how thrilled I am to have resolved some long-standing issues by just changing my diet.

I guess I had hoped I'd go in and see that all sorts of big things had improved with this cleanse, so I was a little disheartened to find out that some issues are still far from gone, or hadn't changed much. But these things take time; Katy said on average it's three months to heal a problem, plus another month for every year you've had the problem. Really, it could take years to completely resolve some of the damage done by poor eating habits in the past.

Glad I got started now.

About Consistency and The End of the Cleanse

On Consistency
I made a decision last week to post regularly on Mondays and Thursdays. I posted said decision, telling my readers they could count on me for those regular posts. Then I promptly didn't follow through.

There is an element of this that has to do with my "ENFP-ness:" as soon is it's a commitment, something I'm supposed to do, then it's no longer fun, the creative energy no longer flows, and I struggle to follow through. But I don't think that's really the case this time. At least, it's not a big enough issue to have overpowered my desire to write regularly.

Honestly, I have so many things I want to write about here, I often have trouble deciding which topic to go with on a given day.

This time it wasn't about a lack of follow through. It was about the last days of the cleanse being really intense.

I'll get to that in a minute, but first I want to finish my thoughts on consistency. Penelope Trunk posted about the value of consistency in personal decisions today. I've been thinking about that issue a lot lately - for people like me who have a lot of interests and, therefore, a lot of commitments, you have to really make an effort to be a dependable person. When you overbook yourself, it's easy to become unreliable, or just reliably late and unprepared.

Just last night I was thinking that I'd like to make each one of my commitments feel like it/they are my priority when I am working with them. That means being on time with everything and always following through. Moreover, you have to be fully present with whoever and wherever you are. If you make it to a meeting on time but show up flustered, under prepared, or act like you're just dropping in before running off to the next thing, that person/group won't feel like they're the priority, nor that they can count on you. Even if in the grand scheme of things they're not at the top of your list, they should be #1 during the time that you spend with them.

I find Ascension helpful in these circumstances, as using the techniques is calming, grounding, and focusing. If I'm running in the door, thinking of all the other things I need to be doing, I can use them to help me become fully present where I am.

The End of the Cleanse
I do plan to be more consistent with the blog posts. I want to be a good, reliable writer. So I intend to work on my consistency there.

But my missing posts this past week were more due to the end of the cleanse, as I said before.

Last week Tuesday and Wednesday were the apple fasting days. They were easier than I expected; I was craving something salty by the end, but otherwise eating apples for two days was alright. I didn't have an abundance of energy, but I didn't get too tired, either.

Wednesday night was the grand finale with the drinking of the "liver cocktail;" 1/2 cup of equal parts lemon juice and olive oil. I'd gone to Vom Fass and bought an expensive olive oil I liked the taste of (this one was rosemary infused) to make it a little easier. The taste was fine, though the consistency (no pun intended) was a little gross. Mostly the way it felt as it glopped into my mostly empty stomach was unpleasant.

As directed, I went to bed right away. I want to encourage people to do the cleanse, and overall it was much easier than it sounded from the onset. But I'm not going to lie, I felt pretty terrible most of the night. Which is not to say that everyone who tries this would - One of the women in the class said she didn't feel anything. I, however, was obviously detoxing a lot out of my liver.

The olive oil cocktail is meant to flush any junk that has built up in the liver and gallbladder out. In my case, that was about 30 liver stones. (Not as bad as you think - liver stones don't pass - or hurt - the way kidney stones do.)Guess I needed the cleanse.

I felt okay by around noon on Thursday and went to work. I was worn out - my body had done a lot of work - but no more grossness. Friday I was still kind of tired and low-key, but by Saturday I was back to normal.

So now I'm done with the entire 60-day cleanse. I am equal parts glad that I did it and glad that it is over. The next step is to break the cleanse, by slowly adding in some of the foods we haven't been eating, and paying attention to how our bodies respond.

Of course, I won't go back to eating everything. Refined sugars and carbs are to always be avoided (or at least, extremely limited). I'm going to try to mostly stick with food combining rules. Ultimately, the goal is to find a balance between health and the enjoyment of food. It means regularly eating healthy, thoughtfully chosen foods and only allowing the occasional indulgence. When it comes to choosing healthy foods, it's all about consistency.



I have my final consultation with Dr. Katy on Thursday morning. Look for more information and reflections on the cleanse then!

Feeling Fantastic

So the kidney cleanse ended last week, and after four days of intense detox and fatigue, I couldn't have been happier. Except that I was, because after some rest, I woke up feeling fantastic.

Sunday morning I snapped out of sleep an hour earlier than I needed to, full of energy and motivation. It was great. And it's lasted most of this week.

I am on the liver cleanse at the moment, but the first 10 days just consist of continuing with the cleansing diet and drinking a tea that helps to tonify the liver. So it's fairly easy, and shouldn't involve much detox until the last couple of days.

The last two days of the cleanse are fasting days; we can eat apples but nothing else. Avoiding meat, dairy, and fatty foods means that the liver isn't doing much in the way of digestion. Apples are good to eat because the acid in them helps to soften the gunk in the liver up. The second night of the fast, we drink a cocktail of lemon juice and olive oil (yum, right?) and go to bed. The next morning, the liver should clear itself out. And then it's all done.

I'm not looking forward to that last part, but the fasting days I'm not too worried about. I've fasted before, and while eating apples for two days doesn't really appeal, it's just two days.

I'm thrilled that I'm really feeling the benefits of this whole process. For the last week I've been sleeping well, waking up energized, and maintaining that energy steadily throughout the day. It's hard to put into words how great it feels.

I am so glad I did this.

Willpower Breakdowns and Start of the Kidney Cleanse

I had about a week between the end of the critter cleanse and the beginning of the kidney cleanse. As I mentioned in previous posts, the critter cleanse was pretty rough on the the last few days, so I decided to give my body a few days to regain equilibrium before putting it through any further detox.

During my week "off" I kept up with a few supplements - a probiotic and buffered vitamin C - as they should help with absorption and digestion.

Breakdowns

I had a potluck in the midst of this week, where I let myself have a glass of wine and a few bites of food that I wasn't supposed to have. Ian was great enough to make a vegan lasagna, but of course the refined noodles aren't on the good list. Neither were Ben's fabulous snickerdoodle cupcakes. Or Dwight's banana muffins. Or Scot's mini brownies.

Unfortunately, as will often happen with sugar and carbs due to their addictive nature, a few bites turned into a whole cupcake. And a muffin. And 4-5 mini brownies. And a second serving of the lasagna. Did I mention someone brought home made bread?

Yeah, I felt gross the rest of the night and the next day. Mostly, I was just bloated, and a little lethargic. But it was amazing to notice how some not-so-good for you food (I mean, it's not like I downed a bag of chips or a pint of Ben and Jerry's) can make you feel. Part of the point of the whole cleansing diet is to get back to the basics, so that as you introduce new foods, you can recognize what they do to your body. I took note.

I was good about everything until Friday, when Ian's work had a party with free drinks. I wasn't going to, but my will power gave out when they handed me the drink ticket. So I got a glass of wine. What was good was that it took me nearly 2 hours to drink it. I have NEVER nursed a drink that long in my life. And I didn't indulge in the bad food; I only grabbed a few veggies, no dip. I drank 2 glasses of water to my one glass of wine. So I thought I was all good.

I hadn't felt the other two glasses of wine I'd consumed during this process. I don't know what was different this time around, but Saturday morning at work, I could tell I'd had some alcohol. I wasn't hungover by any means, but my head was a little foggy. And I just... felt it. It felt like the very tail end of a hangover, I guess. It was subtle, but I noticed.

It was a little horrifying, knowing that for most of the last few years, I've had a couple of drinks a couple of nights a week. And I rarely noticed the effect. I guess when you get used to it, you start thinking feeling that way is normal. So long as you're not full out hungover, it's okay. It made me really rethink how frequently I'm going to drink when I'm done with all of this.

Sunday was yet another pitfall, this time it was a key lime tart. I wasn't going to have any, but someone cut me a piece. Then I was just going to have one bite, but the Oscars are long. As the tart sat there, I slowly chipped away at it. After three hours, it was gone.

I felt gross on Monday. You know, the way you do if you drink way too much soda. It was a sugar hangover. Eew. At least it went away pretty quickly.

I'm not proud that I went off the good diet so many times. It sounds like a lot more when I write it down - I guess that's why food journals/blogs are good for dieters. It's easy to justify a small "cheat" when you've "been so good for so long." But it's harder when you look at your journal and realized you just "cheated" two days ago.

Kidney Cleanse

Tuesday I started the kidney cleanse. It's short, but intense. It involves staying on the clean diet, though skipping out on salt (even sea salt) for a few days. We made a tea with some herbs and parsley broth and black cherry extract, that we are supposed to sip over the course of two days. It's rather potent, so you really are only supposed to have a sip or two an hour. It doesn't taste very good, but I've gotten used to it. And there are a few herbal supplements as well.

I've definitely been rather tired and had a lot of detox soreness the last two days, but it could be worse. I even decided to do the third optional day of the tea today, for good measure. Tomorrow, day 4, we just take the herbs. And then on to the liver!

The kidney and liver cleanses were really the reason I took the course. I drank a lot last fall (Ultimate Frisbee league sponsored by the Great Dane - brilliant and dangerous at the same time.) and was genuinely getting worried about what I was doing to my system. I wanted to do what I could to heal and support it.

There's really no way to measure the effects of this cleanse. With the first one, I could see weight loss and my skin clearing up. I've noticed since I've been on the better diet I don't get the mid-day energy slump, I don't crave sweets or cheese anymore, I sleep better. But I don't know what to say about my kidneys. I hope they're happier!

"Cheating" on Valentine's Day

The second of my four cleanses, the digestive cleanse, ended on Valentine's Day. Not a day too soon.

I really struggled with it in the end; I think it's like those last 5 minutes on the treadmill, where you're so close to finishing that they drag out forever. That and as I mentioned before, the herbs were not sitting so well by the end. I'm still not sure whether the G.I. distress I had those last few days was a sign that my body was ready to be done, or that it was clearing some major stuff. Either way, I'm glad that's over. Now I'm just on a maintenance diet until I do the kidney cleanse in a few days. I've been pretty tired the last two days, and my digestive system still hasn't seemed to get to a place of normalcy. So I'm going to wait a little and make sure my body is ready to handle the next cleanse.

Valentine's night Ian and I went out for a dinner at Chautara. Aside from it being my favorite restaurant in the city (which is significant considering the many excellent restaurants in Madison) it also is one of the most vegetarian/vegan friendly places around. They had a $25/plate V-day special that included soup or salad, appetizers, an entree, and dessert.

I was able to eat most everything without straying too far from my good food combining and clean diet, although Katy strongly recommends against tofu (too processed and a lot of estrogen) and eating that was unavoidable if I wanted to have a full meal. The Paneer served with my meal was tempting, but I only had one bite, and then ate all the sauce and veggies around it. Oh, and the appetizers were all wrapped in doughs, so I just cut them open and ate out the veggie fillings. That felt kind of lame. Happiest for me was that the dessert was brown rice balls soaked in rose water. Probably more sugar than is ideal, but not technically off the diet. :)

I did "cheat" by having a glass of wine, and since I knew I would only be having one, I ordered one of the more expensive ones. Sipping it throughout the meal was successful, and it made me stop to think I should always try to do it that way, rather than having the 2-3 glasses I normally would over the course of a meal out.

Overall, I felt pretty good. I'd been a bit concerned by the many warnings from both Katy and Lyrea to reintroduce foods slowly, one at a time, since I had several things that night - including alcohol - that I haven't in awhile. But it was fine.

It was another good experience with regard to breaking old habits. I didn't eat everything I was served. I didn't drink too much. I really enjoyed the meal, and because there was less alcohol, none of the flavors of the food (or the conversation!) were masked. And it was cheaper than usual eating out, just because there was no bottle of wine on the tab.

I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm a recovering alcoholic, nor that I'm not going to go back to drinking with some frequency once this is all done. But having new awareness about potentially self-destructive habits can be very informative. It can help you be more objective about the habit, and see the way it influences various aspects of your life more clearly. When you step out of a habit for awhile, it also becomes easier to imagine breaking it permanently; it loses its power, and shedding it becomes more fathomable. You become empowered by your own choices.

I encourage everyone to make tough decisions for themselves, or experiment with breaking a routine for a period of time. You can always go back to it if you decide it is what you really want. But stepping outside of the norm for a little while can really help you to gain perspective, make more informed choices, and really take control of your life. This is what creating your own reality is all about.

On Healthy Vegetarianism

My latest article, "Healthy Vegetarianism: Don't Forget the Veggies!" is out in the March issue of Wisconsin Woman Magazine!

For this issue, I interviewed some local nutrition experts on how to be a healthy vegetarian, and what to think about if you're considering changing to a vegetarian diet.

One of the people I interviewed was Katy Wallace, ND, CNHP. Katy is the naturopath who teaches the body cleansing workshops I'm doing right now. She's amazingly knowledgeable about nutrition and natural health, and I think I got about 1/32 of all the great information sh shared with me into the article.

http://www.bluetoad.com/publication/?i=12454

Critter Cleanse, days 7-11

The last few days of the cleanse have been a little rougher. Stomachaches here and there, and herbs messing with my birth control a bit. I won't go into the details on that one, but for anyone considering herbal treatments or major dietary changes (this cleansing process, for example) be aware that it can reduce the efficacy of hormonal birth controls. (Not to fear, we use backup.)

I'm ready to be done with this cleanse, though I'm finding myself quite pleasantly surprised that I'm already on day 11 of 14. It's gone by fast, despite some of the issues I've been dealing with the last few days.

With regard to good effects, I'm still feeling great overall. An unexpected benefit has been that my chiropractic adjustments are holding better, and I've been cut down to two appointments a week instead of three. And I've lost 7 pounds! I'm still trying to mentally prepare myself for gaining some of that back as soon as I'm eating some of my old foods again, but I'm trying to get more exercise in, too, to negate that factor.

All in all, I'm still really glad I've decided to do this. It's amazing how quickly you can adjust to a new pattern - I'm not missing drinking or a lot of the other foods I'm not eating anymore. Except pizza. I'm looking forward to pizza. :)

Cleanse #2: the Critter Cleanse (Days 1-6)

Saturday the 31st ended the digestive cleanse. By the end of it, I was feeling fine and had adjusted to the cooking and food preparation. Sunday the 1st I started the second cleanse of the program, the "Critter Cleanse." This two-week cleanse is designed to help get rid of bad parasites we pick up from food (particularly meat) as well as things like yeast that are in the system.

As I mentioned in my previous post, I'm still primarily eating just fruits and veggies, though now I can add in 1-2 servings a day of whole grains (primarily long-grain brown rice, quinoa, and millet)and avocados. Hurrah! The night of the super bowl, dinner was a bowl of guacamole eaten on carrots. Yum.

This cleanse hasn't seemed much different from the prior one so far. I'm taking more herbs with my meal, ones designed to help get rid of the "critters." For the first few days I had more energy; I think that was due to the addition of the grains. Yesterday and today I've been pretty tired, and had a headache most of the day. I'm taking that as a good sign that I'm detoxing and clearing out some stuff. I've also been taking it a little easier; I was relieved when two of the three commitments I had after work last night were canceled. Sometimes I think life gives you exactly what you need most.

I have been meditating more, which has really been wonderful. For the most part, my sittings have been the "henhouse" with stuff just constantly clearing and very little quiet. Though yesterday during the intense detoxing I had a very deep and restful meditation. I've been very drawn to wanting to spend lots of time meditating - it really feels like my system is wanting to rest and get on track. I'm really impressed with how just adjusting my diet has gotten other systems to want to "get in gear" too.

On a social level, it is getting easier for me to be at events with food and drink I'm not currently eating. I just have to remember to eat before I go. That being said, there's definitely part of me that's ready to be done. There's a little internal dialogue that says "oh come on. Can't we have a slice of pizza already? I mean, is this really necessary?" But I'm hanging in and staying strong, and I really appreciate my roommate and my boyfriend for encouraging me to stick with it when I near moments of weakness.

I am finally starting to see some results, and that has been very motivating. I've lost about 5 lbs, which was definitely a goal. I am aware that the weight could easily come back when I go back to a more "normal" diet, so I'm trying to get to the gym a few times a week in an attempt to thwart that. And, because you know, working out is good for you. Best of all, my skin is clearing up wonderfully. I've been fighting acne for years, and right now my skin looks great. As soon as a few of the red scars left from the last round of blemishes heal, it'll be all clear for the first time since I hit puberty. This is a big triumph for me.

Most interestingly, I've suddenly had a lot of people asking me for nutrition advice. I'm happy to share what I know, with the disclaimer that I'm not trained in nutrition beyond what I've learned through this class and from a few other sources. But I'll gladly share recipes and what I do know, and I highly recommend seeing Katy for a consultation, or attending one of her many workshops at the Willy St. Co-op.

This is causing me to consider whether I perhaps ultimately want to get some training in the field. I've really been enjoying talking with people and helping others to make healthier choices in their lives, too. I've been wanting to go back to school for a Master's in Public Health, and there's an option to focus on nutrition while doing so. It's something to ponder.

Cleanse: days 7-10

As you can tell by my less regular posts, the last three days of the digestive cleanse were really easy. While I've gotten used to all of the cooking, I'll look forward to not having so many dishes to do. When you prepare all of your own meals, they pile up fast.

I've been feeling pretty good all week, and am happy with how this has all gone.

Even Friday and Saturday were easier than last week. There were a few temptations for a glass of wine while watching movies with my mom (we do a chick flick, red wine, and chocolate night once or twice a month. This time she had the wine and chocolate while I had cherries and cocoa tea. Not a bad compromise though.)

On Thursday I played bridge with my mom's group, and that was a little challenging. They always have lots of snacks around - nuts, cheese, crackers, candies - and wine. But I held strong sipping tea and eating carrots with salt on them as a substitute for cashews.

Last night (saturday) we went out to a big event at a local bar. I had been thinking it would be really tough not to drink and that I ::might:: even let myself have one beer. But we got there and I really wasn't tempted at all. I actually quite enjoyed being sober all night - I had more energy (and balance!) for dancing and didn't feel so tired when we got home. And it was nice to wake up after a late night out feeling clear-headed with my feet being the only thing that hurt. (dancing in heels.)

Overall what I'm seeing in myself is that I am breaking some old patterns and habits, which of course is what we are always trying to do with Ascension. Not drinking and eating the limited diet has really made me notice how many of my activities are food-centric, and particularly so around less healthy foods or drinks. Over these first ten days, it has become noticeably easier to not be tempted to fall into the old pattern. I'm looking forward to having an awareness about how I manage it when I am no longer on the special diet. I am hoping it will be easier for me to make better choices - such as not feeling like I "have" to drink when I go out to a bar or similar social event, and still being comfortable and fully enjoying the evening without feeling like I am missing out.

As I mentioned in earlier posts, I'm sure this will do wonders for my self-discipline, and I imagine this should all help to break down the physiological desires for things like sweets, carbs, and other less healthy foods.

Today I begin the second of the four cleanses we are going through in the class: the "critter cleanse." This cleanse works on getting rid of the bad parasites in your body. We all get them from meat, dairy, and other foods. I'll be taking some special herbs for the purpose, and I'm still on a limited diet. Though I now get to add in some whole grains, and I can eat avocadoes again. Guacamole for the super bowl, here I come!

Cleanse: Day 6

Aside from having a little bit of a cold, yesterday went pretty well. I even went to the gym after work and did a light workout, being careful not to push my body too hard since it's had very limited carbs and protein for the last week.

last night's "Odd Tuesday" potluck was fun. It was a little bit of a bummer for me when everyone first showed up with their food and I realized there was little besides the salad I could eat. I had expected that would be the case, but wasn't completely prepared for it. And then I opened up the broccoli I was going to cook and found that it was completely covered in mold, so I began to get distressed about my food prospects for the evening. Ian saved the day by picking up some soup I could eat on his way home.

Dwight prepared diced oranges in red wine for everyone, thinking I could have some since it was vegan... guess I failed to mention I'm not drinking right now, either. I decided to be creative and mixed mine with black cherry extract and discovered a fabulous dessert!

Once I got over the initial "oooh, homemade mac n' cheese... I wish I could have some..." the rest of the night was a breeze. I remember thinking to myself last night "it's okay, I have the rest of my life to eat mac and cheese. I can forego it this one time."

This leads me to believe that an unexpected perk of this whole cleanse thing is that it may do wonders for my self-discipline going forward.

The other thing that has been surprising is the response I'm getting from people. I expected that people would think the whole thing is weird or wouldn't really take it seriously, but everyone I explained it to last night thought it was cool, and respected that I was doing it. Who knew?

Cleanse: Day 5

Day 5 was fine for the most part. During the weekdays, when I'm just preparing my own meals, eating a strictly limited diet isn't difficult.

The biggest challenge probably is still time. I keep a very full schedule, and frequently go straight from work to the next thing to the next thing, dinner being a salad grabbed at whichever Barriques is on my way. So last night I found myself racing back across the city between appointments to cook a dinner which was thrown into a tupperware and eaten at my choir's board meeting.

That, and I'm fighting a cold. My immune system is usually pretty strong, but I'm sure it's being challenged enough as it is by the detox. When Ian came home from the toy store with the sniffles, there was little chance I wasn't going to catch whatever it was.

So today I'm stuffed up and have some swollen glands, though I'm feeling better than I was at bedtime.

Tonight I'm hosting my bi-weekly Odd Tuesday Potluck. I've been encouraging folks to bring vegetarian/Vegan food, both for my vegan roommate's sake and in hopes that I'll be able to eat something besides whatever I prepare. And it'll be another challenge of a food-centered social event.

I'll post about the results in my Day 6 update. More than halfway done with cleanse #1! woohoo!

Cleansing: Days 3 & 4

Days 3 & 4 of the digestive cleanse were both better and worse than the ones that had preceded them. They were easier than the first two days because I had the food I needed in my fridge, I started to get in the groove of preparing my all-veggie meals, and the headaches went away. I'm hoping that means I de-toxed whatever was giving them to me.

But it was harder just because it was the weekend. On Saturday we had dinner with friends, and they graciously took on the challenge of cooking something I could eat. They did a good job making a vegetable curry and salad, though they all had chicken and rice with their meals while I just ate the peppers, carrots, and mushrooms in the sauce.

It was insightful to realize how constantly I like to consume things. Unless I'm actively engaged with something (like working out or doing massage) I am always eating or drinking something. For the most part that's just tea - I sip it at work, and while I'm home at night. But it was really challenging for me to sit through a couple of hours of board games without pretzels or nuts or something sweet to snack on. (The tupperware of cherries I brought for this purpose only lasted for 30 minutes.) Not to mention not having a tasty beverage to sip on. After one kombucha and three cups of tea, I just wanted something... more. It really wasn't about the alcohol, but there's something heartier about those kinds of beverages. And I drink them slower - I can drink about three cups of tea in the time it takes me to polish off a beer.

Sunday morning was tough, too. We usually wake up and either go out for brunch or cook something like eggs benedict. I was craving bacon and eggs hard core. But we satiated ourselves with a trip to the co-op for fruit smoothies, followed by what turned out to be a very satisfying vegetable stir-fry. The rest of the day was fine; even spaghetti night at my folks' house. My mom followed suit and ate her sauce over spaghetti squash, and only prepared enough bread for Dad to eat.

I was proud of my mom for this. It's hard for her to turn down carbs if they are available to her, even though she's not supposed to be eating them. And I understand how challenging that can be. But she was very good about it; eeven preparing the food for Dad but not eating any of it herself. I'm excited to encourage her on her own path to a healthier way of eating.

Cleansing: Day 2

Day 1 went okay. I felt a little tired and decidedly cranky in the evening, but once I had dinner, things felt much better.

Dinner itself was fabulous. We made spaghetti, using spaghetti squash in place of pasta and making a sauce dense with vegetables. It worked out really well... I have a feeling that squash may become a centerpiece of many entrees during this cleanse.

Most people struggle with any kind of special diet because of the sense of deprivation. There tends to be a lot of remorse around what you "can't" have, and often giving in to the temptation of eating what you aren't supposed to is the end of a healthy diet. I wasn't feeling this much at all though, which surprised me. Perhaps it's a little early into the process, but I haven't had any real sense of "oh, I'm going to miss _____."

I did some introspection about this, and realized that it's because I am so excited about what I am going to get. When I left work, I was speculating on what I could cook, wondering what I could be creative with to make a tasty, satisfying meal.

When trying to be self-disciplined about anything, the key is to focus on what you do get to have, rather than worrying about what you don't. Which really goes back to having gratitude - being grateful for what we have, rather than remorseful about what we lack.

Cleansing: Day 1

So my last post was 6 months ago... I could feel guilty, or embarrassed, or bad about that. But that would be useless. So I'll just pick up and start writing again.

It's interesting to me that my last post was about being tired when I do massage. Shortly after that I had a consultation with a naturopath in town, Katy Wallace, ND. (www.humannaturellc.com) She looked at my diet and habits and helped me to make a few basic changes that made a huge difference in my energy levels, endurance, and several other things.

I thought, "gee, if I get all of that out of a free consultation, imagine what she could help me do if I paid her!" And, six months later, I'm taking a class with her.

It's called the "Body Tune-Up series." It consists of two private consultations, weekly group classes, and participation in a series of internal cleanses.

On Tuesday, I went in for my consultation. She checked the ph of my saliva, we looked at my blood under a microscoope, and talked about the things I want to work on and gain out of this process. She recommended a few supplements, vitamins, and special drinks (a smoothie and liver cleansing concoction) to take alongside the cleansing process.

Last night was the first class. We discussed the history of and reasons for cleansing, proper digestion, and how to do the first cleanse. We start with a digestive cleanse, which is important to do first. Since your body primarily eliminates toxins through the colon, you want that to be in good shape before you start encouraging other systems to flush themselves out.

This cleanse involves eating only fruits and vegetables, along with some supplements, for 10 days. Of course, alcohol, caffeine, and other things that aren't generally considered good for you are out.

I'm excited to see what this process brings, even though I'm already feeling challenged by the amount of time I need to spend preparing my own food. No grabbing a slice of pizza or a granola bar for a few days; I have to make sure I've got plenty of fruits and vegetables on hand for snacking. But at least so long as I'm eating the right foods, I can eat as much of them as I want. :) And, I'm sure it'll expand my cooking skills. Tonight, I'm going to learn to prepare beets.

I am also very interested to see what effect this process has on my meditation. One thing I know already is that I will be meditating more frequently; after the morning liver cleanse drink I'm supposed to sit for half an hour to let it do it's thing. And since I won't be going out to the bars and that kind of thing, I'll be home a lot more. Already, it's amazing to see how much what you eat effects your time - how frequently you go to the grocery store, how much time you spend preparing food, and everything else that goes into the process.

I've fasted during meditation retreats before; changing your diet in this way can bring a great deal of mental clarity.

So to my friends and family, please excuse me if I decline invitations, or come over for dinner and bring my own food for the next week or two. I'll be keeping you posted on this process through this blog, and I'll be happy to discuss or answer questions. It will be an interesting process!